Of Writers and (Essentially) Whether They're A Problem In Relationships

These days, as I continue to kind of wait and see what's going on with HubPages and my own online writing, I haven't been posting much writing there (at least for now).  I do, however, go there to see what's going on.  And, if I'm really bored I'll go see if there are any questions in their "Answers" section that I feel like answering.

Someone on there asked if writers are "hard to love".  The person brought up putting emotions into words, but also seemed to imply writers just "put out there" whatever their emotions are.  I could write a book on some of the misconceptions I've run into (but I won't here).  I don't even know if I may have not entirely interpreted the particular question completely corrected.

In any case, I thought I'd post my answer here since I don't have much else to post on here right now.

I think people need to be very careful about automatically assuming that the person who writes, even stuff that has "some emotional element" to it, doesn't have some major, major, boundaries with regard to how much of his own emotional stuff, IF ANY, he'll share.

While "writer types" may tend most often to be quiet, introspective, types until they start writing, I think people have to realize that people who lean toward being "very tuned in to" "human"/"people"/emotional areas can be SO tuned in that they can fairly skillfully create the impression of not keeping any emotional secrets and/or of just "putting it all out there" when, in fact, they may well be keeping to them-self a "universe-worth" of their own "emotional stuff"/thoughts.

Of course, there are people who unload big, out-of-control, "emotion" in what is clearly similarly out-of-control writing or "pouring one's heart out". I, personally, am not one of those people. I'll write "emotional stuff" only once I've processed it to the point where I'm only calling upon an "old mental file" for a frame-of-reference and whatever it has little/no "emotional factor" associated with it beyond its just being a memory (good or bad).

In other words, I think unless someone's writing is full maniacal rantings that are clearly someone's need to wildly vent, or else nothing but morose wallowing in self-pity without regard for dignity; I don't think people should automatically think that a writer is going to put out there more than he/she would say in person anyway.

Writing is nothing more than a way of communicating well. People need to stop thinking there's "something weird about it". People who have good "human/relationships" skills are also often very comfortable with writing. It's a mistake to assume that person who has had enough of a life, and enough meaningful relationships, to have some "old mental files" as a frame-of-reference or resource does not filter what he shares. To the (extreme) contrary, I think.

Of Writers Versus "Plain-Old People"

Just the other day I ran into a couple of quotes aimed at writers.  The message in one of them was that writers don't really write from experience, because if they did all most writers might get out of their own experience might be one book and (I think it said) a couple/few poems. 

Then a related quote showed up near that one, and the idea of that one was that once a writer has written about his own childhood he most often doesn't have much else to write about (or something along those lines).

When I saw the two quotes my first thought was that maybe some writers spend more time writing than they do really "having a life", and that could explain the apparent wide-spread lack of life experiences in some.  The other thing that occurred to me was that, perhaps, some people really shouldn't be writers at all because writers generally need to be able to notice the things in life that, maybe, a lot of other people wouldn't notice.   With regard to the idea that writers often have "nothing" to write about once they've written about their childhood, my thoughts about that were that the things about which I want to write pretty began after I'd passed through what was a very nice childhood.  Occasionally, I've found things to write about that were related to my childhood; but for the most part, it is the life I've had since becoming grown up that has offered me the most inspiration, "fuel", and drive when it comes to writing subjects.

When it comes down to it, however, I think I've realized that I'm far less "writer" than I am "just a plain, old, person"; so while writers may spend their time trying to think up, dream up, all kinds o fascinating things about which to write; plain-old  people sometimes simply live their life until it calls out to them to be written.