As I continue to work on things away from this blog (which is a collection of Free-Time/Casual Online Writing, Remarks, And Notes By ME Whelan) and continue to figure out what goes and what stays of my existing online-writing, the de-emphasizing of one or another continues as well....

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Not Really A Post....

Looking forward to a few days in the 50's again, which means (as with the February days that were near or just over 60 degrees (at least the ones that weren't rainy), a nice change to get out and pretend it's Spring, rather than just a nice break from Winter.  Maybe one would have to live where I do in order to appreciate half-decent weather as much as most of us here do.  Some people even get to take half-decent weather for granted - must be nice to be able to do that.  Then again, there's something to be said for not taking some things for granted.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

"Sometimes a thousand words really are worth a whole lot more than a picture"
"There are times when I say too little and times when I say way too much. Then there are times when saying nothing is best, but then there are those times when saying nothing is just unacceptable. I guess my aim is to finally get it all right one of these days."

Face Clocks

After just thinking about, and writing about, wall calendars I did what I inevitably do when I think of wall calendars, which is to think of "face clocks".

There are two things that I insist on having in my house. One is at least one wall calendar. The other is a face clock in every room. There's just something "happy" about a face clock, I think. It's not that I look at any of them all that often. Lke pretty much everybody else, I rely on one of the many, many, digital clocks that are pretty much "everywhere".

I'm not one of those people who thinks that digital clocks have stopped, or slowed down, the process of children's learning how to tell time. In fact, my daughter was three when she impressed me with her understanding of the concept of time, and of minutes and counting them, by looking at the digital clock on the microwave oven. She also seemed to kind of be teaching herself to read by looking at the manufacturers names on kitchen appliances, so one must never underestimate the educational resources in one's kitchen. But I digress...

In all seriousness, I noticed that my daughter learned to read face clocks fairly effortlessly, probably because the task of learning some of the related concepts of time had already been accomplished with her awareness of how the digital clock, and minutes, worked.

This, of course, may just because I grew up in a pre-digital-clock era; but I just think there should be a face clock in every room in the house because a face is friendlier than a number, particularly than red numbers. The face clock doesn't have to be hanging on the wall. In fact, I wouldn't want a wall clock in every room. No, instead it can be a pretty clock on a table somewhere (or something like that). It just has to have a face, preferably an attractive look (although a basic clock is still friendlier looking than a digital one).

I've asked myself if my "thing" about clocks (and calendars) reveals some deep, psychological, issue that I have. On the one hand, I'll admit that I also have a "thing" about being organized and on time. On the other hand, though, I've certainly learned that life doesn't always go by clocks and calendars.

No, I don't really think my "thing" about clocks (or calendars) is some deep, psychological, thing. It's as simple as wanting things a little more friendly looking in the house by giving things like walls and little tables the only kind of life to them that they'll ever have, which is reminders of the ever-moving nature of time; along with the never-changing nature of a mother/friend/sister who aims to offer anyone in the home a friendly face and the knowledge that if they need something while they're there it's as easy to find as the walls and/or the little tables that aren't far from them.

December 8, 2013
(transfer post) 

Wall Calendars

Wall calendars are something I have "a thing" about.

While the world, and gadgets, are full of all kinds of calendars of all kinds of varieties, I still want a wall calendar hanging unobtrusively in the corner of at least one room or all, preferably where anyone who wants a truly quick look at a calendar can easily go there and have that quick look.

It isn't enough, either, that a wall calendar just do the job of being that easy-to-look-at calendar. It has to be the kind that has different, beautiful and/or cheerful pictures that are changed as each page for each month is turned.

My practical reason for always wanting a wall calendar hanging is that it's not at all unusual for someone to be in the house, talking with me or someone else; and inevitably asking a question like, "When's the seventeenth?" or "What day does So-and-So's birthday fall on?"

Sure, everyone has a cell phone, and every cell phone has one or more handy calendars. The thing is, though, that it can be a little bit of a pain in the neck to get out, or go get, a cell phone; and go through the menu to get to the calendar. My own cell phone (like many others, I imagine) has a calendar that's super-easy to get to. Still, it's just sometimes quicker and easier (and lazier, maybe) to go check that wall calendar.

Wall-calendar pictures (if they're the right kind) can add a touch of cheerfulness to the room. Somehow I just kind of like that, particularly in a place like a corner of a kitchen.

When it comes down to it, I don't really care if anyone ever wants to know when one date or another is, or what day some event falls on. And, I don't check my wall calendar very often. But, it's there - a hint of a calendar-era past, perhaps - doing its job, being a hint of cheerfulness, and serving to remind me (and anyone who sees it in my home) that just because something is available through the wonders of technology it doesn't mean that some of the nicer, and friendlier, things of a past era are no longer important and/or welcomed in our daily lives.

Maybe that's just me. That's the point, though. It's just me - still me, the same living and breathing human being who appreciates a cheerful picture in the corner of the kitchen, and who wants to make sure that anyone in the house (guests or otherwise) is accommodated when he's away from his own computer (or wall calendar) and wants to check out what day something falls on or how many days are left before some event takes place.

One year I wasn't able to find a calendar for some reason (probably because I waited too long to look), and my daughter made me one. I loved it, and it was the most special calendar I've ever spent a year looking at. Several years later I again couldn't find a wall calendar (at least one that I liked well enough) until August. I just felt like there was something missing until I did find one (and at that, the pictures were of kittens, which I love - but not for a wall calendar).

In any case, as I said - I just have "a thing" about wall calendars.

Now, since I have my next-year's calendar all set for hanging, should I hang it now (because, of course, it has December 2013 in it), and then have to hang the new one in less than a month? Or, should I live with the old one until the beginning of the new year, and make a "mental big-production" out of hanging the new calendar as part of the New Year holiday?

Hmm. Before I decide what to do about when to hang the new calendar, let me go look at my calendar and see, exactly, how many days are left before January 1.

(transfer post)

Communicating, Words, Pictures and Talking Too Much

(transfer post)
Previously on Bubblews and being posted "as is"

August 4, 2014
After writing a post about "talking too much" and realizing how long it was going to run (I tend to let posts and thought run their course, which means super-long posts), I thought I'd write a second post about talking "too much" or "being a talker". (Well, actually, I cut out a whole big section, started the second post, and then made the original post long anyway - "whatever"...).

As with so many "sayings" or "rules to live by", the idea that people shouldn't talk "too much" tends to assume that there can never be value in talking a lot. It doesn't help that a lot of religions have historically taught (essentially) that silence is a virtue (which, of course, it can be but isn't always). Religions have generally always been run by men (not always known for being the best at communicating within relationships, and often known for doing a whole lot of talking to a whole lot of people without doing a lot of listening). Let's not get into all that here. In fact, let's not get into all the reasons for, and ways in which, the idea of "talking too much" being a bad thing has so often taken hold in society.

The thing is I only have a view of who talked how much from, say, my own childhood and parents (and aunts, uncles, and a couple of very elderly grandfathers). One of them was "a talker". One was not. Neither did a lot of talking (beyond just a little chatting) with me. My father was a talker, but he wasn't one to unload a lot of personal, heavy, stuff on his own children. My mother was a talker, and she was more skilled at knowing how to share her own background with her kids at a time, and in doses, that was age-appropriate. My mother and sisters were all talkers "amongst themselves". Sometimes what they said was a matter of genuine caring and sharing. Sometimes it could be misguided. Sometimes it amounted to "yakking it up" and plain-old, unappealing and destructive gossip (but most often, I think, the gossip was between two sisters and about another one; so it may have been more a matter of their inadequately understanding one another and/or family dynamics than "genuine" idle gossip, for which mothers/people of my parents generation didn't have a lot of time anyway). This was the 1950's/1960's when there was still ringer washing machines and clotheslines (which also means that my two grandfathers was born in the late 1800's and more a part of living as elderly grandfathers than they were with the "modern day" living era of my childhood).

My parents were quiet people who didn't like "windbags", which (particularly in those days) were either people who didn't know what they were talking about and talked up a big, loud, storm anyway; or else people in careers/jobs known for "windbaggery" and/or seen as "windbaggery" by my parents.
In any case, I was a happy little kid in a nice, peaceful, loving home and with all the attention I needed from adults, mainly because my siblings are spaced four-and-a-half and five years apart from me. I liked my world. I liked people, at least the people who were like my parents (as opposed to adults who grossly underestimated the intelligence of children). So, when I got out into the world among other kids my age I generally liked most of them too (that is if they enjoyed having conversations, which also meant they tended to be girls).

Maybe an unfortunate thing was that as technology more and more became "The Thing" or at least "the latest Thing" talking a lot often became associated with windbags-of-old (the old fashioned salesman, politician, boring and/or overbearing teacher, or even drunken, life-of-the-party types who made crude remarks they wouldn't have made if sober) - and, of course, little girls, three-year-olds of any sex, and parents who talked but never listened, or never even asked. Oh, and let's not forget gossips (once thought of as something women did; but since I've become an adult I've run into pretty much as many guy gossips as women gossips (so who knows what that's all about).

Either way, at least with people of my generation (I'm a second-wave Baby Boomer, which means I'm slightly different than a lot of those first-wave Boomers) the thing was that there were a lot more boys that girls who chose technology for their future careers; while a whole lot of people bemoaned the fact that so many girls still chose "traditional, women's, careers/roles". Money and salaries tend to go with what is most valued in society, and what is most valued in society is generally what makes the most money for anyone; so, without going into the whole thing about some professions having a lot more of some people than the world really needs, who and what makes money, competition, and flashes-in-one-pan-or another that are replaced by the next flashes-in-the next-pans (sometimes because someone created a better pan; other times becomes some pans are no longer useful). The point is it was either easier for the person who went into technology to make bigger "bucks", or else the potential of doing that was greated for those people; while people in the "non-technical" areas/fields were often not paid well, or at least not paid as well as - really - they should have been. (BUT, of course, teachers were often mothers; so they could either have school-vacation time with their own kids or else - mothers or not - use the time to either work somewhere else; unless they wanted to travel. So, when people weren't complaining about teachers salaries they would often see the situation as a kind of one-sided "win/win".)

My point here is not that technology hasn't been a great thing. One problem (with the "talking-too-much" thing has been, though, that men who aren't "all into science" often went into, say, law (and everybody hated windbag/lying lawyers) or business (and a whole lot of people hated windbag-lying business men). And, in a lot of instances there was good reason (often still is). This is, I know, gross generalization; but (again, in general and at least for people of my generation) a lot of the boys/men who were non-verbally inclined and who not only saw themselves as "nice" people and men who wanted to earn well in order to provide for their families headed straight for technology as their career.

Somewhere in the mix of all those events and changes and factors in society (not to mention the ages old thing about how people who say more than one feels like listening to are "windbags" and/or self-centered (and sometimes only because the listen-in-question is, himself, only interested in talking about himself/herself), the person who is very "verbal-communication-focused" has often had any number of darts thrown at his self-esteem (maybe I should have said, "her self-esteem, because - again, at least with my own generation - the "talkers" of the world have either been (or been seen as) girls, women, old ladies ("hens"), or various sundry windbags and/or blowhards of questionable, or at least ignorant, motives.
Not all "talkers" are, or have always been, only women; of course; and not all male talkers are windbags or blowhards. The trouble is (or at least, maybe, has been up until fairly recently and within the decades throughout which I've been an adult) that even nice men who would like to have a real conversation are either afraid to be seen as (perish this thought) "women" or else, themselves, are dealing with a windbag of one sex or another who doesn't know what s/he is talking about, won't ask, won't listen, or doesn't want to hear because what s/he will hear isn't what s/he wants to hear.

All that aside, several months ago I was having what I thought was a really good discussion with a guy who is roughly my age. I said how I'm a verbal person and want my information presented in words - not pictures or graphs. He said he's the opposite (which was no surprise to me because this is someone who, if you ask him a question that could easily be answered in words, will whip out a pen and starting drawing diagrams).

I was kind of floored (as they say) when this individual said, "Now, see... when you talk..) (note: he didn't necessarily mean me, personally, I don't think; although maybe he did) ".... all I hear is blah-blah."

Sometimes communication (even with words) can all can seem pretty hopeless, I guess. There are those who say that one picture is worth a thousand words. I tend to think - no matter who likes, uses, or deems as "too many" one bunch of words or another - that a thousand words will always say so much more than one picture ever can. The trick, however, is in finding the right words - and that (as far as I've ever figured out) "ain't" always easy.

Talking Too Much

The following is a transfer post and was previously on Bubblews.  I'm posting it "as is".


This post is one I'm copying from my Bubblews account.  There are some references to someone else's post(s) on Bubblews, and I'll eventually edit this post to stand more on its own on here.  In the meantime, I'm posting it as is.

"Quote for Today: 'Don't Talk Too Much'"
After reading a post by another Bubblews member.   ("Quote for Today: 'Don't Talk Too Much'"), which made points about how talking too much and seldom listening often means never learning anything (among some other disadvantages to "talking too much"); I thought I'd ponder the belief (that a lot of people have) that talking "too much" is essentially a bad thing.

The post asked readers whether they were "talkers" or not. My short reply to that question is that I'm a selective talker. On the one hand, I talk a whole lot in conversations with close friends (and if I'm not talking I may be "talking a lot" by writing). On the other hand, there has always been a whole lot that I don't say and situations in which I remain completely silent (or else speak only when someone asks me a question directly, in which case (at least once I got past five years old when I wasn't above refusing to respond to what seemed like "stupid" remarks to me) I reply. I pretty much went through my entire secondary-school years completely silent in class, believing that/expecting teachers to stand there, do a good job of sharing the information, and otherwise don't expect me to participate in talking. At the time, that was my idea of how learning should go (and it sometimes went well with some teachers).

When it wasn't going well (up to my "standards" with regard to "high-quality information-sharing" I would, in my own mind, turn "useless" classroom time into something that I valued as much as, or more than, whatever wasn't being taught very well in any particular class; by having "better" conversation with whoever was nearby and (apparently) also seeing "socializing" as more valuable than the particular class. Let's just say I saw myself as "making good use of time and materials" (sort of). I've always been an efficient user-of-my-own time; and to this day, the minute I sense someone or something is wasting my time (by, say, taking some things too seriously or taking themselves too seriously or otherwise seeming clueless in one way or another) I'll pretty much find (or be found by) the nearest person who sees it as the time-wasting/silly as I do; and start socializing ("whisper-socializing" maybe, but socializing nonetheless). So, I am a talker and yet a non-talker (but let's face it, sometimes not-talking only happens because I write instead.)

The thing is, though, I'm a verbal person and a person whose main focus leans more towards people and relationships than anything else (those two things tend to go together); and I'm a mother. Mothers can't afford to worry about how unattractive or uncool not-talking is, or may be seen. While I certainly see changes with regard to how many young men today (of my children's generation) lean more toward being "tuned in" to relationships; until fairly recently (and even now) being tuned into relationships and socializing has often been associated more with girls and women than men and boys.

Being a talker (or too "too much", at least according to the opinion of a lot of non-talkers of the world) is not a bad thing. The key is in not being a windbag and in being able to back up what one says with solid facts; or at least knowing how to present opinions/questions/concerns as nothing more than that. Another "key" is in knowing not to "just think" something without looking more into very solid, reliable, sources (particularly when talking to one's children; and in other words, reading up on pertinent subjects and not just spouting off about them when talking to kids who are old enough to check out facts/information for themselves).

From the day they're born, children (or even pets, for that matter) learn by having someone who respects them and cares enough about them to talk to them a whole lot more than, sometimes, one would think energy permits. And, maybe one reason so many people have such an aversion to "talking too much" is that they either didn't like what adults told them (either because they were kids and didn't understand or else because they were kids and wanted to do what they wanted to do - or else because they knew adults were telling them "baloney").

The thing is, though, that the mother/parent (person) who doesn't know enough to start talking and keep talking (pretty much for all the time she'll ever be someone's mother, and times how-ever many kids she has) can do a wide range of damage to people and relationships. Something else is that people can sometimes equate "talking" with one-way speaking; and someone like me (a verbal person and very picky about word use) equates "talking" with "two-way, personal, conversation" and "one-way talking" as any number of other things entirely.

When I was a kid I had the luxury of remaining silent and letting whoever in the class it was who cared about being first to get the right answer and/or cared about "looking enthusiastic" have whatever "glory" I thought it was they wanted or needed. Also, I had the luxury of remaining silent and letting whichever kids it was that liked asking questions either because they HAD question or just liked hearing themselves pipe up.

Then I grew up.

"The OK-Ness Of People" - Another Blog I Forgot About

As part of the cleaning-out, trimming down, consolidating, etc. etc. etc. process, I found yet another forgotten blog.  It is "The OK-Ness Of People".  Maybe I'll delete it.  Maybe I'll re-think it (or at least the subject/theme).  In the meantime,I hate to waste what I found (and wrote) on that particular blog.

I'm posting the words from that blog below.

"The OK-Ness Of People"
People - they come in different shapes and sizes, ages, and colors; and each one of them has his or her own story. When it comes to a lot of things about people, though, a good part of the time a whole lot of them are very much the same. One thing all people have in common is that they are, in fact, individuals.

Over the last couple of decades, it seems as if our society has increasingly forgotten that people are usually, for the most part, "OK". Sure, there are people who are damaged and/or evil. Sure, there are people with physical and or mental conditions (sometimes serious and farm from "OK", at least when it comes to whether or not someone is physically or mentally healthy). Sure, there are people who are unhappy, even downright miserable. There are also people who are insecure or else more sure of themselves than they really ought to be. In spite of all that, though, are generally OK when it comes to "being a person".

What I mean by "OK" is whether or not someone is a good person who cares about others, cares about being a responsible person, wants a good life for himself and his children or future children; and is, for the most part, a capable individual who does, or strives to, manage himself and his own life with an average, or better than average, degree of competence.

In the early 1970's Thomas A Harris, MD, wrote the popular self-help book, "I'm OK. You're OK." Although that book has nothing to do with this site, when I was getting ready to make the statement I'm about to make about society, I looked up the book (not only was it popular, but I read it when it was "big", because I wanted to make a reference just to the title of the book and need to look up the author's name and the date the book was out.

The statement I was about to make about today's society, and that prompted me to look up the author and date for that book was this: "In the early 70's, a popular self-help book was 'I'm OK. You're OK.' Aimed at helping people solve their problems by using a Transactional Analysis approach, the book seemed to be one with which anyone who was reader of the latest books, and/or a reader of the latest self-help books at the time, was familiar. The words, "I'm OK. You're OK," became kind of a cliche. In any case, my plan, before looking up the book, was to say that while "I'm OK. You're OK," sometimes seemed to be a "big theme" in 1970's American culture. The point I'd planned to make after making the statement that prompted looking up the book, was that it seems as if the "big theme" in today's culture is, "I'm OK. You're Not OK," or else "I'm not OK. You're Not OK. Nobody is OK."

What I discovered when I looked up the book is that the author actually made a reference to "I'm OK. You're Not Ok." I thought it would reasonable and appropriate here to mention that, even though; I've long forgotten what was in the back and certainly didn't even have the book in mind when I decided to name this site.

In any case, the point is that it, to me, has become increasingly disturbing that our society/culture has gotten to the point where it seems rare to run into someone who sees the "OK-ness" of most people. Whether that's a matter of believing that most people have a mental health condition, that most physical conditions can't/won't improve, that people with plenty of money lack character or integrity, that people with little money lack intelligence or willingness to work hard; or whether it means that people who, without intending to, "mess up" or fail in one way or another either brought it on through their own inferiority or even malicious intent - it all amounts to the same thing, which is assuming the worst about who/what people are.

Being "OK", most of us want to see an end of all the problems in our society. Being "OK", most of us want to solve our own, individual, problems. To me, one of the biggest obstacles to solving any number of problems insufficient understanding of the people who have and/or create those problems. What's particularly disturbing to me, as I think about whether or not some problems can ever be solved, is that it looks to me as if our culture has moved farther and farther away from truly understanding people, and continues to move in the same direction. It just seems to me that someone has to start putting on the brakes to the run-away train that has picked up steam over the last few decades. I know I'm not alone in my observations (although I often feel very much alone with those observations.) Alone or not (and again, I really don't think I'm alone), I just think it's time for anyone who noticed that the run-away train continues to pick up steam to start saying/writing something new, maybe something old, something different, something "common sense" - just something that's right and that makes some solid sense to anyone who goes through this life as person; and that is, of course, everyone.

Making sense to everyone" is, of course, a very tall order that's unlikely to be fulfilled. Making sense to more people, rather than not making sense to most people, is, however, not that unrealistic an aim. Realistic or not, that's the aim of this site.

(transfer post)

An Old Post From An Old Blog (I Don't Know.... It Seemed Worth Posting)

(transfer post)

As I've been trying to get organized with my online writing, my ultimate aim is to make this particular blog just the one place where I can post whatever I feel like posting.  With a "zillion" blogs or "whatever else" in varying stages of development, I've been trying to trim down, consolidate and/or at least bring up-to-date much of the stuff I have.

Like going through an old trunk (or maybe a garage that has collected things that really ought to go), I found a blog that I started a few years back.  It has no posts.  I'll delete it, but I like its look and simplicity.  I may actually change the looks of this blog, but sometimes choosing a look for something like a blog is largely mood-dependent.  It's not that I'm someone who has mood swings, or anything like that.  It's more, however, that I like so many different types of looks (for things like web pages) that I can have trouble deciding which look I want for which page.

Anyway, I thought twice (more than twice, actually) before posting this here because what's here are the text/"introduction" blocks from that long forgotten blog.  Some of what I wrote back then is outdated. 

Still, as I read the words about my motivation for starting that blog, I realized that it's kind of a "time-capasule type of thing".  Then, too, much of what I wrote then still applies in some ways.

My aim for this (the one you're on now) blog is to have that one place to write whatever I feel like writing starting today - not re-posting old stuff (at least not unless I think the old stuff is worth moving here from somewhere else).

As I continue to spend whatever time or energy I have (for the online-writing stuff) cleaning up and cleaning out any number of things, I just haven't really had the time to just start "really writing" on this blog.

Mostly because the "time-capsule" words from the about-to-be-deleted blog pretty much describe my aims/plans for this particular one, I decided to copy them (and the picture from the soon-to-be-deleted blog) below:


 Sometimes a person just needs a place to write and not-care - not care about who will read, who will approve, whose feelings will be hurt, or who will get angry. Sometimes a person needs a place to write where he doesn't have to worry about anything at all. He needs a place to vent, rant, bellyache, and/or ponder, without worrying about who'll bring up the whole thing about how it's not pleasant to be negative or about how it's not smart not to care about traffic, what Google "likes" (or what anybody else likes or doesn't like, for that matter), or whether his writing is interesting and/or useful to anyone. That's what this site is.

Be forewarned: Don't expect anything great, or even good (although I do like to think that the grammar and spelling here will be reasonably good most of the time). You can expect honesty and a decent amount of candor. That's about all I can promise regarding what's to come. (By the way, I really don't live with the "Attitude" that my words and tone here might seem to suggest. The "Attitude" is really only the mood I'm in as I write this introduction. I'm most often a perfectly nice and friendly person. (Correction: I'm most often a perfectly nice and friendly person who is better able to hide the minor-but-ever-present "Attitude".)

Then there was the "About This Blog" section.   Again, keep in mind that it was written a few years ago.
For the last "I-don't-know-how-long", I've had some extra time, mainly because I haven't had as much work as I'd previously had. The good side to that, of course, is that there has been all the more time for writing. What's amazed me, however, is that I haven't used the time to do some of the serious writing that I've been wishing I had time to write. Instead, because I couldn't really get down to business and just do the writing I need to do, I found myself sitting and staring at the screen for ridiculous amounts of time.

I'd take breaks by going to HubPages (where I've been spending free time over the last few years), and seeing if I'd run into something that gave me an idea to write about (and completely unrelated to what I really should have doing).

Well, I got lots of ideas, so I'd then write up a storm and produce some really thorough (even good, maybe) thing on a subject - only to then just leave the file to sit in my machine because a) I don't want to get involved with figuring out where it will fit well, and b) I'd just be tired after writing that I couldn't deal with anything other than closing the file.

So, this has been going on for awhile. Then there was the power failure from the hurricane. That meant I took a few days off from it all, which was, in its own way, good. One day I killed the morning and part of the afternoon, out in the sun and getting exercise. I thought that helped some, and maybe it did. Well, it helped me "overall", but it didn't help me get back to being focused on what I could easily have completed by now. So, I've been in a slump.

Then, for the last couple of days it got worse. I couldn't even go looking for stuff to write. All I could do was go see if there was something on the HubPages forums that might give me an idea for writing. There wasn't. There was nothing (well, nothing inspiring, to say the least). That's when I went to HubPages "Answers" section and just looked for questions that I could entertain myself with by trying to come up with an answer. Better that than some what's on television. So there I saw for close to two solid days (I did take breaks and did try to get some other, smaller, things done in-between), answering a bunch of questions for no real reason other than to a) kill time, and b) not have to do anything more demanding.

Nature has a way of taking care of some things. In this case, "Nature's" way of taking care of things was apparently that I'd be so disgusted with the fact that I would even want to waste two days/nights (well, not really the WHOLE days or nights, but - really - far more time than is reasonable or healthy) doing my version of "nothing".

I know I'm exhausted (for reasons that have nothing to do with a) online writing, or b) things within my control at the moment. I'm angry about a whole lot of things that have happened in my life (mainly because they have been caused by someone else - and YES, you really CAN blame others for SOME things SOME times if you're not so stupid, weak, or lacking in self-esteem that you either don't know that, or else don't have the good sense and guts to implement it.

In any case, I said to myself, "Self, you've been having the life sucked out of you by the Internet (and some other, non-writing/non-Internet-related factors). Get yourself to a clean, white, page. Get away from that stupid mess of stupid blogs that you've never finished fully developing, and get yourself away from someone else's writing site where you're wondering if you've ever really belonged, let alone if your stuff, as it now is, belongs there at this point."

I also said to myself, "Self, get away from where you're going to see some people's truly hostile and ignorant remarks about any number of things (and not even directed at you, by the way). It's not healthy to soak in nothing but the following: blogs you hate anyway, writing you mostly hate anyway, an Internet you're not too thrilled with anyway (at least most of the time), and sites where the talk is all about struggling for traffic, new ways to "improve quality", foolish arguments about politics and religion, and a whole lot of things that a whole lot people do for no reason other than hope to make a nickle here or there.

Self, you've always been able to ignore, laugh off, or take in stride all those little things that are bound to bother most people at one time or another (and especially in large doses). So, Self, get away from it all; but don't turn off your computer, the way you did the day you went out in the sun. Instead, find a blank, white, page and just say or write whatever you feel like saying or writing."

And so, always someone to listen to my wisest (????) adviser (although I've been known to ignore her far longer than has often been ideal), I took my own advice. Here I am, and there you have it.

A guest is coming over later, so I probably don't have enough time to write much of anything right now. What will I write on here? I don't know, but the freedom offered by the blank, white, page and a simple keyboard makes me feel a little better already.

A Note About The Orange-Flowers Images On Some Posts

The orange-flowers image that appears on some posts indicates that the post either is, or was, with my posts on Bubblews. I may or may not move or delete such posts in the future. The date of posting on Bubblews is noted below the post title and any header image.

People Say Dumb Things To Kids

I'm sure I'm far from the first or last to call attention to this particular dumb thing that people say to kids; but I can't think of much else to write right now. Besides, I'm in one of those moods when I just feel like doing some verbal punching back at a whole lot of people in this world for being a) stupid/ignorant, but also b) aggressive.

Anyway, here's the dumb thing people say to kids (or anyone, for that matter; but when they say it to kids it's generally when it can be most inaccurate, even stupid:
"The lie is worse than the thing itself."

Well, think about it! Sometimes the "thing itself" is a whole lot worse than the lie (for one reason or another). There is, after all, some reason your kid feels the need to lie about it.

If you are fortunate enough to have a child who respects you enough not to be able to "just say anything to you, no matter what", who has some healthy boundaries, who worries about disappointing you or making you worry more than s/he knows you really have to; or even - yes - just doesn't feel like hearing you go on and on about something way out of proportion to "The Thing, Itself".... you're either lucky or else have done something right (or both).

The truth is (and don't lie to your child/ren if you want to be a good role model for someone who a) tells the truth, and b) knows how to think for himself and sort out subtle differences in "truths") sometimes, particularly with a lot of the things that kids do, The Thing Itself is way worse than the lie. Sometimes, of course, it isn't. I just think people ought to use their own heads to sort out the difference before making this particular statement. Because, while parents are sometimes so blinded by fear of what will happen to their child, what kind of "criminal" they may or may not raise, losing control over their child's behavior, being embarrassed by a child who makes a mistake, etc. etc. etc.........

Children are most often perfectly capable of seeing past all that stuff that makes parent pass off their own version of lies; and realizing that they can't always count on the information/wisdom their parents believe they're sharing.

An ages-old admonition adults have so often used toward children: "THINK before you speak!" Now that one's not such a dumb thing to say at all (in SOME situations and with SOME people, anyway) -- and it applies to parents most of all. 

 July 26, 2014
(transfer post)

On Favorite Colors

There following "ponderings" on the subject of favorite colors is something I wrote when someone asked the "favorite-color" question on another site. I just figured I'd post it here -maybe because it's so cold outside, and I'm so sick of it, that I thought thinking of something I find pleasant to think about might make a little sense (at least to me).

I don't have one favorite. I have a group of them that are all favorites (if it's possible to have several favorites; and in my case, it has to be, because I pretty much like them equally - over all colors that aren't in this group.

Anyway, it's light cream. That's kind of my staple. That may not be Number 1 at all, though, because light, gray-ish, mauves or else purple-ish, darker, mauves; and pale, purple/violent tone grays are colors I really like. I like SOME tones of pink, not all. I also like some subtle, pale, "off-tone" greens, like light sage.

I guess I like pale cream because it's softer than white but looks clean and light. The others, I think I like because they tend to be the more rare shades of colors that are found in nature; particularly in sunsets or occasionally in sunrises. To me, blues (as in the sky) are common. So are greens (as in grass and trees, although I like some very dark ones). Green that isn't on actual plants/grass, though, tends to really bother me. I can't really explain why I like sage, though. I guess because it's a softer, paler, green that's kind of different "in the scheme of a lot of colors". It's clean and peaceful. Gray with hints of purple: Oceans, rocks, mountains. Green and sky blue are both too common (and too bold for me). I like a lot of the bolder colors of flowers, some fruits, and tropical birds, but only on flowers and tropical birds, for the most part.

I guess I like the sky better than the earth, and those more rare and the colors of those more rare,
beautiful, and fleeting moments of sunsets and parts of sunrises. The gray of the mountains and ocean water, I suppose, (besides being easier on the eyes) I like because they're the more stable aspects of Earth.
I see the colors of sunsets as the colors of dreams and awe; the color of the ocean as grand and expansive and forever; the color of rocks as clean, crisp, and permanent. As for the light cream, I guess I see that as a "default, other, artificial, color" that's not too white, too black, or too bold (like all other colors not in the group I like tend to be).

Maybe I like a balance of Earth, itself; sky (when clouds and sun have been dimmed, blended, and become beautiful), and, of course, the powerful, ever shifting, ever moving, ocean. :) :) Thanks for the question. I'm a little happier just thinking about these things. :) I'm a words/logic person. Those are crisp/sharp/common. I like less common, less bold colors.

(transfer post)  Previously posted January 14, 2014

Posting A Few "Transfer" Posts

I thought I'd post a few "transfer posts", mainly in order to push down the posts about "Other Writing".  I'm trying to, once and for all, get in a "mode" where whatever I write online is not about my online writing, aims to organize it, etc. etc.  I'm getting there, but those "Other Writing" posts about "other writing" that I'm aiming to "bury" don't help my cause.

On Accepting Criticism

(transfer post)
Something that has always kind of surprised me is the number of people who don't seem to be able to reason out the difference between the kind of criticism people should be able to graciously accept and the kind that the offerer of it has no business expecting the target of it to graciously accept.

Not all criticism is equal.  I'm perfectly fine with what I see as "appropriate" criticism, and that is criticism by someone like a supervisor in the work place, a teacher/instructor in the classroom/course setting, or criticism I request if/when I asked someone for their thoughts on one thing or another.

I'm not in the least bit interested in the criticism of someone who appoints himself critic, advice-giver, input-offerer, etc. on anything I do or am in my non-school or non-work life or on anything on which I have not requested someone's opinion.

A good part of the time people who "have opinions" about how/what someone else should do things are people who don't have a clue about what the other person is dealing with; and people who, if they faced all the same factors that the other person does would do the exact-same thing, would do things the exact-same way.  Then, too, there are those times when two people are so different, what one does that's right for him wouldn't be right for the other person.  So either way, unsolicited criticism (outside work or school and offered/imposed by someone whose role is not supervisor or teacher) comes from people who, for one reason or another, don't know what's they're talking about (no matter how superior, informed or educated they imagine themselves to be). 

Good interpersonal skills tell people who have them that unsolicited, inappropriate, criticism isn't acceptable.  Good reasoning ability tells people that they can't/shouldn't have an opinion about someone else because they can't have all the information about that person's inner or outer situation, and therefore are not capable of offering an opinion based on everything that goes into what someone does.  So, people who directly express criticism of other individuals lack interpersonal skills and/or sufficient reasoning skills; and therefore, are most often people who really aren't in the position of knowing any better than the other person what that other person should/could be doing.  The ego of people who feel free to offer unsolicited criticism is bigger than it ought to be when they appoint themselves critic of others, and respect others so little that they believe their own opinions are superior.

So, in the school or work setting (or where someone asks because he values the input of the other person), only a blockhead would have trouble accepting criticism graciously.   Other than that, it's those who criticize who are most often the clueless blockhead.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

About The "Other Writing" Posts

I've just posted two "Other Writing" posts.  I wanted them posted today not because I want to call attention to that other writing, but because I want the links here for my own purposes.  The fact my aim is to de-emphasize the stuff in the "Other Writing" posts (at least for now).  (By the way, there are so far two "Other Writing" posts (A and B).  There may be more in the future, but I think those two posts pretty much serve the purpose of keeping all that stuff that needs my attention in one pace (this blog).

Because I have stuff that's set on "private" and other stuff that has any number of different combinations of settings that may/may not change from one day to the next, I'm not entirely sure that some of those "Other Writing" links will actually work.  The majority of them will, however, if, for some reason, someone is at all interested in them.

Since I pretty much want the "Other Writing" posts to sink to "Older Posts" as start posting more and more on this blog, I'll just write a note that refers to them in the sidebar and point out that the posts with the label, "Other Posts", have been posted on February 24, 2016; and that will allow anyone interested (for some reason) know how to find the posts that have the links.

Long story a little less long (about the stuff in those posts) is that as of today, and for one reason or another, it's stuff that isn't ready to be moved to the one of the front burners.

Other Writing Post B

Note (03/01/16):  As far as I know, this particular bunch of links have all been disabled (by me).
At any given time I have several blogs "in the works".  I say "in the works" because they're all either still in the "laying-a-foundation" stage, or else their foundation is well established but my posting is not as regular as one would expect in a blog.  Basically, I see them as "early-stage" blogs that I've set up with the idea of having them there for if/when I decide and/or have the time and inspiration to post more regularly.  So aware that the blogs aren't "what blogs are supposed to be", I occasionally take them all offline just because I'm uncomfortable with the undeveloped state they're in.  Then, however, I realize they aren't completely undeveloped as pages - only as functioning blogs.  That's when I put them back online and figure anyone who runs into them can either read (or not read) whatever is there.  Not that I assume anyone would even be interested in any of the blogs at this stage; but for anyone who may be curious, I've posted links to them (even though they are not listed in search engines and not fully functioning - by any means - as of right now).

My challenge has always been that I'm not among the people who write "just for an audience" or "just for fun" (and who don't care at all about whether they can turn their enjoyment-writing into profit.  Neither, however, am I among the people whose only real interest in posting any writing online is in making money with it.  At times I wrote for either and both of those reasons, but I'm also someone who writes for reasons other than what it is I may get out of writing.  I don't mean to come across as arrogant, or as a "writing snob",  when I say this; but I often write with the hope that some reader somewhere may at least get some positive little thing from reading (and when I say "some positive little thing" I'm not referring to a repeat of information that the reader could have gotten anywhere else online or off).  There's also yet another reason that I write (and I won't go into here, but it's personal).

In any case, with all the reasons and purposes I have for writing in whatever "what-I-feel-like" writing time I have, it has become clear that all that writing needs a place where posting it makes some sense.  The blogs are, for now, that kind of place.  Over time one or another may become better developed, or else maybe I'll consolidate some and get rid of others.  For now they serve my own purposes, whether or not I have one or another listed in search engines.  They don't look like a lot of blogs often look, and they function the way a lot of blogs function.  One day they may if I feel as if they have enough substance to them that they're worth more regular attention from me.  For now, they're essentially a mostly "maybe-one-day" kind of long-term thing that's convenient for me.

Unfinished Feminism

Focus:  Ways in which feminism made little impact on women as recently as the present time.

Relationship Glitches

  Focus:  Observations and insights on some of the day-to-day (and sometimes not so "day-to-day"(difficulties in interpersonal relationships.

Lightness - For Women

  Focus:  The lighter, brighter and generally positive side of being a woman and "woman-kind" in general.

An "About-Children" Corner

  Focus:  Children and parenting

Storm Clouds and Wind Chimes

  Focus:  The smaller and larger of life matters/events that lead to stress/distress

Bootstraps and Breadboxes

  Focus:  Concerns/worries about money in the day-to-day lives of working and/or low-income individuals.

Life on Key

Focus:  Originally set up to feature the articles I most wanted featured, this site is (at least for now) one that features general-subject articles.

The Hat-Box Journal

Focus:  No particular focus, to be honest.  Originally, I had plans for this one.  For now, it's just kind of there.  Maybe I'll do more with it at some point.  Well, actually, it's not so much that I have no focus for "The Hat-Box Journal".  It's just that I only do so much of the kind of writing that fits that focus, which really is only about "just-writing".

No Senior Coffee

  Focus:  Based on the idea that a whole lot of people over "a certain age" don't feel any older than they ever have, this site aimed at those people "over a certain age" incorporated (but is not limited to) that idea.

Letters About Life and Me

  Focus:  This is just a personal space for posting whatever comes to mind.  The site is designed to create a very personal "mood" because of that.

Verbosity by ME

  Focus:  Inspired by the numbers of time I've read/heard people say how "nobody wants to read anything long", I thought I'd devote a whole blog to material that would be considered "too long to read" by many people in an Internet age.

Running on Two Cylinders

  Focus:  Aimed at addressing the challenge of keeping going, and keeping life normal, when faced with being overwhelmed and/or exhausted either because of having a lot to do, having exhaustion because of unrelenting/severe and/or long-term stress, or having mild depression.

On Adoption - Resources and Personal Notes

  Focus:  Offering some adoption resources and reading, this site also offers first-hand thoughts/writing as a mother of a child who happens to have been adopted.

The Premie Experience

  Focus:  Still in need of resources in addition to those already posted, the aim of this site is offer resources and reading for parents of premies; while also offering some limited first-hand experience with having (and caring for) a premature baby.

What's Wrong in American Schools

  Focus:  Still in its earliest stages, the aim of this site is (will be) to focus on some of the sometimes less obvious problems within the education system.

My Daughter's Engagement
Focus:  Inspired by my own daughter's engagement, the aim/plan for this site is to expand to offer material for the mothers (or others) whose own daughter's look forward to a wedding.

Memories, Magic and Meltdowns

  Focus:  Creative non-fiction with women readers in mind.

For Women Fifty and Up

  Focus:  At the title suggests, material aimed at women fifty and older.

The Aching Head Chronicles

  Focus:  The smaller, almost silly (ALMOST), aggravations of day-to-day life.


  (Temporarily Offline) Focus:  This pure-silliness blog is written from the standpoint of one very busy troll doll.  Besides populating the blog with pure silliness, my other aim is to eventually incorporate some messages "from the WishNik" (troll doll) aimed at children.

A Christmas Card    (seasonal, of course)

  Focus:  Inspired by hearing many people say that they didn't feel much like Christmas a few years ago, this site is aimed at trying to offer both some ideas about dealing with not feeling very "Christmas-y", but also some material aimed at generating (maybe, and hopefully) a little Christmas spirit.

Drunk Driving and Speeding

Focus:  This site was never intended to become a fully functioning blog.  It was created with the idea of its being "an abbreviated blog with a message".  Basically, all it is is a couple of stories and some limited posts aimed at trying to make the loss caused by drunk driving and speeding feel more real to the reader.
   It is simply a case of "Here's me.  Here's my personal experience.  Here's the Internet.  How can I not try to send this very important message that too few people ever seem to get."

"Fourth-Tier Writing Efforts:

Online-Writing Notes, Issues, and Dilemmas
Focus:  As the title suggests, this site contains material about issues and challenges associated with being an online writer.

The Lisa H. Warren Blog

Focus:  This blog was created as a "home-base" blog aimed at organizing my online writing that has been done under the pen name, "Lisa H. Warren".

Straight Talk Sort Of
Focus:  The original aim of this as-yet-still-under-developed site was to have a place online where I could get away from online writing communities and just write about the issues as I see them.  It will probably be consolidated with another "straight-talk type of" blog at some point.  For now it is, as they say, what it is.

Everyday Gadgets and Other Stuff

Focus:  Personal/informal reviews, comments and/or experiences related to a variety of products. (Temporarily offline "for renovations")
An Online Writer's Junk Drawer Focus:  Even with my personal aversion to the concept of offline "junk drawers", I realized that it might be kind of handy to have a "dumping ground" for some files I have and either don't know what to do with, or else material that really isn't fit for human consumption in its present state.

Just Getting Things Straight
Focus: This site, which remains yet to be adequately developed, is one I set up with the idea of getting away from writing more "neutral" material and instead finally writing about some of the more personal things/ideas in life that I need to write - but that I haven't yet decided I really wanted on the Internet.

What Are "Fourth Tier Writing Efforts"?

The blogs that I've placed under this category are those that focus primarily on writing (particularly, online writing).  Blogs are this category are essentially a symptom of my never-ending wheel-spinning and pondering about my own direction with regard to any efforts I put it on online writing.  Not that anyone will be holding his breath for this, but one of these days I'll actually get all those files of wheel-spinning and pondering onto one of my many writing-focused blogs.  In the meantime, this particular group of blogs exists for when/if I need a place to post that wheel-spinning, pondering and/or the occasional take on Internet writing.

In case you're curious about the "tier thing"...     Here are the "tiers" to which I've assigned my different purposes/types of writing:

Tier 1:    "Real" writing, which is writing I do either for someone else or as part of one of my own projects.

Tier 2:    Writing and set-up for my general (overall), online-writing, efforts (which, at it turns out) has amounted to the online writing's  having     taken on a life of its own.

Tier 3:    Blogs that focus on one subject/theme or another (or than my own online writing).  For now these are a low-end, long-term, type of thing for me.  As far as I'm concerned, all of the blogs I have today are on thin ice with regard to remaining in existence (at least until they, or I, do something that leads to a next step in what happens to them).

Tier 4:    I should have called "Tier 4", "For Tired" because whenever I don't feel up to, or have the time for, writing something more substantial I most often end up writing about writing.  And, if I don't write about writing I instead writing about thinking about writing (that type of aimless thing).  That happens partly because writing about writing is easy when one is too tired to write much else, but it also happens because there is a lot about writing online that I've always found "energy-draining" anyway.  As a result,
 sometimes there's a chicken-egg kind of thing when it comes to whether I get tired of writing first or whether the whole online-writing environment is just kind of wearing on a person.

Tier 5:   This is the writing I do on sites like writing sites - other people's sites.  Tier 5 shouldn't be under-estimated because I've built a little income stream from Tier 5.  Still (and in another chicken/egg type scenario), I've always altered my writing to try to make it fit well enough on some writing sites, but that, in itself, can contribute to not feeling particularly energized when it comes to that kind of writing.
Tier 6:   Tier 6 writing needs to be removed from one of the many back-burners on which any one or another of those projects just sits.  Tier 6 writing needs to become, say, Tier 2 (maybe even Tier 1) writing in the very near future (and I mean VERY near), but until now those projects (and there are several) have all been at the Tier 6 level.

Other Writing Post A

M E Whelan Online

This is an all-purpose, central, site for most of my online writing; and it includes a lot of extra information/material either as part of my trying to make this casual site a little more entertaining (or something).  Pretty much all my casual, online, writing is a matter of dumping stuff online and figuring out how to sort it all out later.  This site, in particular, is in need of major overhaul (and more), but until now it has (at least for the "free time"/"casual basis" writing) it has served as a good place to organize a bunch of material.  That's why I have not (again, at least for now) either deleted or set on "private" this particular site.

Words By ME Whelan 

Like the site/link immediately above, this blog is one of two pages/sites left with my name in the title.  Originally, I was both lazy in thinking up a title and also aiming to make it clear (mostly to myself) that these were "author-focused" pages/sites.  More accurately, maybe, "author-focused-turned-dumping-ground".  For now, this blog remains online, but until I either fix it up or get rid of it I'm leaving the link here in the "other writing/posting department".

Up Close and Interpersonal

"Up Close and Interpersonal" is another Wordpress blog which, along with this one here, are where I plan to start to put in some more serious efforts (at least as far as casual writing goes).

Educated Guesses and Common Sense (About Children)

Yet another Wordpress blog, the title of this one is self-explanatory.  The substance of this one is still in the relatively early stages even though it's been around for awhile and in different incarnations.

A Parent's Perspectives

This is one of a handful of "Perspectives" sites, and my aim is put together a site that offers a combination of personal perspective, thoughts, and maybe some insight; along with resources for the visitor who prefers more expert takes on a subject.  My aim - once I "migrate" the Perspectives sites - is that they will offer something more "serious" or "heavy duty" while also offering my own (more "light duty") material for visitors who may prefer that.  In other words, the aim is to have something for everyone - but besides further developing the Perspectives sites as far as offerings go, I need to tie together the different types of material in a more cohesive way.

Perspectives - Social Issues

The title of this "Perspectives" site is self-explanatory, although the site remains at a close-to-embryonic stage of development.  It won't take long to improve that situation.  It's all a matter of remembering to get back to the site and give it a little attention.

Perspectives - Relationships

This one isn't a whole lot more developed than the Social Issues one (although there are actually some worthy videos on there).  In any case, there's not a lot of point saying much about this one right now.

Divorce Perspectives

This one actually has quite a bit of material on it, and my aim for this one is that it become a site (even if a "migrated" site) that offers some real substance to a very real problem.

Words and Then Some

The fact that this site and the ME Whelan Online site both exist is an indication of my not knowing how, exactly, I was going to shift away from using a long-time pen-name gracefully.  One of these sites is going.  The aim for the other is to put some finishing touches on it and essentially "seal" it as far as future material goes.  (Well, my aim is to either "seal" or else out-and-out delete a whole lot of the material I have online right now.  It's just that it's a big project to do all that, and I really don't want to do anything prematurely and end up regretting some things.)

Just Pictures of Clouds

This one is another one with a self-explanatory title.  I can't even believe I have the nerve to have this one online, because the pictures really do leave a lot to be desired.  BUT, what I've learned about so many of these "hobby-type" efforts (whether writing or pictures - I won't even call it "photography") is that the first step in moving things past a "rough draft" kind of stage is just to get material gathered together and in one place.  From there any clean-up or build-up can start to happen - or not, in which case there's always deleting.

"And Then I Don't Feel So Bad" - Finding "Happier"


Someone online asked what others do when they feel sad. The site on which I posted a reply to that question is no longer in business, so I thought I'd post it here.

I have kind of a "Three-Step Plan"

"Step 1" is that I start with just me, rather than focusing on anyone else, or including anyone else.

Whenever I've had sadness I generally try to do something to change what's causing it; and if I can't change what's causing then I think of something happier, or at least think of something that gives me a little pleasure. (Kind of like the song, "My Favorite Things" - and it's corny, but it can work.) It doesn't have to be "raindrops on roses". Strange as it may seem, it could be something like my "smoky lilac" cell phone that I just happened to love when I saw it, and that I still like. Or, it can be something that I love not just because it's my taste, but because it was a gift from someone I love. It might be something like going through a particularly favorite book, or going through my collection of fitness DVD's and finding one that makes me feel like I'm making a refreshing change in routine. I might decide to use the tea-kettle that makes me happy just to look at it, and if I don't use it I might polish it up. I may go through any photographs I have that I particularly love and maybe sort them out; or, I'll take a bunch of new ones.

Generally, I just look for ways to stay in touch, or get in touch, with the things in life that are beautiful and alive.

Something else I tend to do is find something like a television show that I know will make me laugh.

Listening to beautiful and/or powerful music isn't just relaxing (always good for times of feeling blue), but it can have the same effect as thinking about some of those beautiful and/or uplifting/bright things in life.

And other than that... I'll get out, get some fresh air, "re-build" some emotional energy.

"Step 2" is for those times when the blues or the blahs (or worse) last longer.

"Step 2" is adding some nice time with someone else. It doesn't have to be a big, fun, time - just spending some time with someone else (and not particularly talking about having the blues or the blahs, and instead talking about other things).

"Step 3" isn't always a step. Sometimes it's a step. Sometimes it would better be described as a "backdrop of thought".

"Step 3" (step or "backdrop"), is that I step back, look at my whole and overall life, and think about all the meaningful ways in which I'm so incredibly fortunate), whether that's the special people in my life or something else. Then I may think about some of the bad things that have gone on in life, and all the things I've learned from them (not the least of which are what's important in life, and why we should never not appreciate all the ways in which we're fortunate).

Sadness is usually something we just have to get through until there isn't so much of it, and doing the above stuff can make getting through a sad time a little easier (or in the case of long-term sadness like grief, until we get used to living with it, it's older and less acute, and less "all-consuming" as when it's newer).

Finally I Got To The Point Where I Could Get Rid Of Most Pages/Blogs With My Name In The Title

Not that anyone who isn't me would be interested in this new progress, but I've finally been able to set on "private" almost everything with my name on it.  There's still one blog from "another category" and a mostly abandoned site that needs closing (at some point).  At least I won't be a) confusing myself, or b) disgusting myself with those extra blogs that only ended up with my name in the title because I was lazy at the time (and didn't particularly care or need to care).

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Why I Write

Someone online asked why people write.  This is the reply I came up with.

 Mainly, I write because I enjoy it.  Also, though, I write for money.  I don't write because I have nothing better to do, because I write in spite of having a lot of better, and more pressing, things I should be doing.  I REALLY don't write for fame, because that's the last thing I want.  I don't write to impress anyone, because I'm not one to try to impress people.  Neither do I write to communicate my thoughts because I don't presume people care about what my thoughts are (and I'm fine keeping so many of my thoughts to myself anyway). 

I write because I think too many important ideas and feelings get "lost to the winds" when people don't capture them (for, maybe, future grandchildren/great-grandchildren) in writing.

I write because I like the clicking of the keys.

I write because there are things I've learned about life, and I hate to have what I've learned wasted by keeping it to myself.

I write because I like the idea of maybe "giving someone a little ride" (with some kinds of writing).

I write because I like to be someone who lets other people know they aren't alone.

I write because I tend to live with chronic dissatisfaction and anger in this world, so I feel as if my head will explode if I don't put it into civilized words, put order to the thoughts, and free my head of a lot of it.

I write because too many people misunderstand too many other people, and if I think I can share something I know about some of those "other people", maybe it will help someone understand them better.

I write to defend people I think need defending - some children, elderly people, anyone in a group that is treated poorly, the poor, the wealthy, and on and on and on.  I don't like it when people would prefer to feel superior to someone else, rather than try to understand them.  So, I write to try to share what I can about understanding some of those people who could use as many people speaking up on their behalf as possible.  I write because too many parents don't seem understand their children or even recall being a child themselves.  I write because too many kids truly don't understand where their parents are coming from.

I write because I'm angry at a world that so often treats and sees women the way it does.

I write because I've learned that keeping my thoughts and activities to myself resulted in my being shocked to discover other people would, if given the chance or reason, imagine what I "must be thinking"  - and the form opinions of me based on what they imagine!  :rolleyes: So, I write because I've learned the hard way (at least for me) that saying what I'm thinking is safer than not.  (It's a problem some women/wives/daughters have more than some other people.)

I write because I imagine that one day my grown kids will find what I've written and understand their mother just that much better (even though now we're far closer than a lot of moms and grown kids are).

I write because I love to put the words together in a way that (hopefully, and when I do it right) makes them become something more than just words on paper or a screen, and makes them become something almost tangible.

I write because when I think of the reasons why I write it makes my heart pound a little and makes me feel just a little on the edge of tears - maybe.

I write because I can (or at least I think I can).

I write because I love the order and science and logic of thoughts put into the right words.

I write because today's world so often seems to have forgotten the importance and power of words, and instead seems so often to think the only thing there is that matters is technology. It's as if the world has forgotten the role of words and writing throughout history.  (Coming from the Boston area, where it was words and ideas at the root of the founding of the country that would become what America has; I've always been particularly aware of the power of words and ideas.  So, in ways, I write because I want to help keep the world from forgetting what words can do.)

I write because, in a world where so many people hate to have to write something or where so many struggle with writer's block or grammar rules, it comes fairly easily to me - so I figure I may as well go with it.

I write because, as middle-aged as I may be, I still have it in my head that there's always the chance I'll write the thing that helps change the world.

I write because I imagine that something I write may somehow manage to help my children know how much I love them.

I write because I like presenting arguments.

I write because I think the most difficult way to "paint a picture" is through the use of something as "dull" and "black-and-white" as letters and words - so I write because it's a challenge.

I write because I like to play with words.

I write because it's separate from the person people see and hear when I'm speaking in person, and from the person about whom others so often seem to make misguided judgments based only on what they see and hear.

I write because writing won't let me go.

I write because I'm in my element when I'm writing.

I write because, in a world and a life in which I seem to have a tendency to have been knocked around quite a bit, writing is the thing that helps keep me grounded in my "me-ness".

I write because writing is as much a part of who I am as my light brown hair and gray-blue eyes are.

I write because the words are there.

And, when the words are not there, I know just where to go to find them - and because those words are always exactly where I've looked for them.   I write because finding them is satisfying to a person whose nature it is to write.,