I've been trying to get organized with my online writing, my ultimate
aim is to make this particular blog just the one place where I can post
whatever I feel like posting. With a "zillion" blogs or "whatever else"
in varying stages of development, I've been trying to trim down,
consolidate and/or at least bring up-to-date much of the stuff I have.
through an old trunk (or maybe a garage that has collected things that
really ought to go), I found a blog that I started a few years back. It
has no posts. I'll delete it, but I like its look and simplicity. I
may actually change the looks of this blog, but sometimes choosing a
look for something like a blog is largely mood-dependent. It's not that
I'm someone who has mood swings, or anything like that. It's more,
however, that I like so many different types of looks (for things like
web pages) that I can have trouble deciding which look I want for which
thought twice (more than twice, actually) before posting this here
because what's here are the text/"introduction" blocks from that long
forgotten blog. Some of what I wrote back then is outdated.
Still, as I
read the words about my motivation for starting that blog, I realized
that it's kind of a "time-capasule type of thing". Then, too, much of
what I wrote then still applies in some ways.
My aim for
this (the one you're on now) blog is to have that one place to write
whatever I feel like writing starting today - not re-posting old stuff
(at least not unless I think the old stuff is worth moving here from
continue to spend whatever time or energy I have (for the online-writing
stuff) cleaning up and cleaning out any number of things, I just
haven't really had the time to just start "really writing" on this blog.
because the "time-capsule" words from the about-to-be-deleted blog
pretty much describe my aims/plans for this particular one, I decided to
copy them (and the picture from the soon-to-be-deleted blog) below:
Sometimes a person just needs a place to write and not-care - not care
about who will read, who will approve, whose feelings will be hurt, or
who will get angry. Sometimes a person needs a place to write where he
doesn't have to worry about anything at all. He needs a place to vent,
rant, bellyache, and/or ponder, without worrying about who'll bring up
the whole thing about how it's not pleasant to be negative or about how
it's not smart not to care about traffic, what Google "likes" (or what
anybody else likes or doesn't like, for that matter), or whether his
writing is interesting and/or useful to anyone. That's what this site
Be forewarned: Don't expect anything great, or even good
(although I do like to think that the grammar and spelling here will be
reasonably good most of the time). You can expect honesty and a decent
amount of candor. That's about all I can promise regarding what's to
come. (By the way, I really don't live with the "Attitude" that my
words and tone here might seem to suggest. The "Attitude" is really
only the mood I'm in as I write this introduction. I'm most often a
perfectly nice and friendly person. (Correction: I'm most often a
perfectly nice and friendly person who is better able to hide the
Then there was the "About This Blog" section. Again, keep in mind that it was written a few years ago.
For the last "I-don't-know-how-long", I've had some extra time, mainly
because I haven't had as much work as I'd previously had. The good side
to that, of course, is that there has been all the more time for
writing. What's amazed me, however, is that I haven't used the time to
do some of the serious writing that I've been wishing I had time to
write. Instead, because I couldn't really get down to business and just
do the writing I need to do, I found myself sitting and staring at the
screen for ridiculous amounts of time.
I'd take breaks by going
to HubPages (where I've been spending free time over the last few
years), and seeing if I'd run into something that gave me an idea to
write about (and completely unrelated to what I really should have
Well, I got lots of ideas, so I'd then write up a storm
and produce some really thorough (even good, maybe) thing on a subject -
only to then just leave the file to sit in my machine because a) I
don't want to get involved with figuring out where it will fit well, and
b) I'd just be tired after writing that I couldn't deal with anything
other than closing the file.
So, this has been going on for
awhile. Then there was the power failure from the hurricane. That
meant I took a few days off from it all, which was, in its own way,
good. One day I killed the morning and part of the afternoon, out in
the sun and getting exercise. I thought that helped some, and maybe it
did. Well, it helped me "overall", but it didn't help me get back to
being focused on what I could easily have completed by now. So, I've
been in a slump.
Then, for the last couple of days it got worse.
I couldn't even go looking for stuff to write. All I could do was go
see if there was something on the HubPages forums that might give me an
idea for writing. There wasn't. There was nothing (well, nothing
inspiring, to say the least). That's when I went to HubPages "Answers"
section and just looked for questions that I could entertain myself with
by trying to come up with an answer. Better that than some what's on
television. So there I saw for close to two solid days (I did take
breaks and did try to get some other, smaller, things done in-between),
answering a bunch of questions for no real reason other than to a) kill
time, and b) not have to do anything more demanding.
Nature has a
way of taking care of some things. In this case, "Nature's" way of
taking care of things was apparently that I'd be so disgusted with the
fact that I would even want to waste two days/nights (well, not really
the WHOLE days or nights, but - really - far more time than is
reasonable or healthy) doing my version of "nothing".
I know I'm
exhausted (for reasons that have nothing to do with a) online writing,
or b) things within my control at the moment. I'm angry about a whole
lot of things that have happened in my life (mainly because they have
been caused by someone else - and YES, you really CAN blame others for
SOME things SOME times if you're not so stupid, weak, or lacking in
self-esteem that you either don't know that, or else don't have the good
sense and guts to implement it.
In any case, I said to myself,
"Self, you've been having the life sucked out of you by the Internet
(and some other, non-writing/non-Internet-related factors). Get
yourself to a clean, white, page. Get away from that stupid mess of
stupid blogs that you've never finished fully developing, and get
yourself away from someone else's writing site where you're wondering if
you've ever really belonged, let alone if your stuff, as it now is,
belongs there at this point."
I also said to myself, "Self, get
away from where you're going to see some people's truly hostile and
ignorant remarks about any number of things (and not even directed at
you, by the way). It's not healthy to soak in nothing but the
following: blogs you hate anyway, writing you mostly hate anyway, an
Internet you're not too thrilled with anyway (at least most of the
time), and sites where the talk is all about struggling for traffic, new
ways to "improve quality", foolish arguments about politics and
religion, and a whole lot of things that a whole lot people do for no
reason other than hope to make a nickle here or there.
you've always been able to ignore, laugh off, or take in stride all
those little things that are bound to bother most people at one time or
another (and especially in large doses). So, Self, get away from it
all; but don't turn off your computer, the way you did the day you went
out in the sun. Instead, find a blank, white, page and just say or
write whatever you feel like saying or writing."
And so, always
someone to listen to my wisest (????) adviser (although I've been known
to ignore her far longer than has often been ideal), I took my own
advice. Here I am, and there you have it.
A guest is coming over
later, so I probably don't have enough time to write much of anything
right now. What will I write on here? I don't know, but the freedom
offered by the blank, white, page and a simple keyboard makes me feel a
little better already.