As I continue to work on things away from this blog (which is a collection of Free-Time/Casual Online Writing, Remarks, And Notes By ME Whelan) and continue to figure out what goes and what stays of my existing online-writing, the de-emphasizing of one or another continues as well....

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Waiting Waiting Waiting

Well, as skilled as I am with doing with less and less; over recent days I've been trapped without my driver's license in the house; which means not being able to get what I need in order to really feel like I'm functioning the way I usually do.   Although since I've had the "exhaustion thing" I've called it "operating on fewer than my usual eight cylinders", over the last few days it's becoming clear that without being able to get what I need to have in order to keep up my energy/concentration level, I'm coming to a stop.  Basically, when a person has some types of exhaustion it means "artificially" hiking up the "energy level" with things like sugar and a couple of other perfectly legal substances (not alcohol or prescription drugs, by the way).

I don't need a lot of anything.  I just need what I need to function as my usual self after  years of fighting off exhaustion (living with it, not fighting it off).  I have a freezer full of vegetables and some other vegetables around, and I have bread and saltines.  So, I won't starve to death.  Starches aren't what I need.  

So, I guess I'm going to just sit here and wait for "good fairy" , because I don't have what I need to beable to write, haven't for several days now, am looking at when, exactly, I should eat my one egg (and whether I should "waste" the bread to eat the egg as a sandwich.

None of it matters because hunger isn't my problem.   It's the "energy level" thing, and I haven't consistently had what I need for that for quite some time, and a couple of days of having what I need and then not means spending another two or three days of getting over the first day of "not".

That means needing more than I'd otherwise have.  Now that I know I apparently need to plan for large numbers of days without having what I need I'll do things differently the next time I do my "main" shopping.

For now I'm waiting - waiting for someone else to make their move, I guess.   There's only so much I can say on the Internet, so go ahead, "whoever".   Make your move. 

In the meantime, I'm here - not having what I need to be able to write and generally be myself, so I'm waiting.  Somebody, whoever needs to, make your MOVE.

The problem, too, with not having one particular thing that I need (but won't mention online but people who know me know what it is) is that it is more and more difficult for me to stop myself from going online and being far more honest than I, or anyone else, would think is wise.

I'm not "the manifesto type", so I'll stop.  There's so much I'd like to say but won't because it wouldn't reflect well on me.  No, it would reflect well on me.  It just wouldn't be very safe for me to do, considering some things that have gone.

So anyway, I'm waiting and waiting, and until something goes on I'll be here not doing anything and still waiting.  I'll most likely be fine.  I always am.  I'm more interested in seeing what move someone else makes.

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