So I wrote that whole, big, long, "cheese sticks" post as a way of taking a break from the tedious stuff that I'm aiming to, little by little, add here and to the "notebook" blogs. Since it's the big, rambling, indulgent post I wrote for the sake of coming up with something to break things up; needless to say, I'm not too thrilled with it. I could delete it, but that would mean having to come up with some new thing to "break up" the tedious stuff.
As always (particularly while I have stuff like this blog in a mode of "de-emphasis" as far as my settings go), part of me thinks, "Just delete it. It's junk." The other part of me says, "Why delete it? It isn't bothering anybody, particularly in view of the de-emphasizing mode.
Actually, I have a couple of "super-comprehensive" (but tedious) background posts that will eventually go with material on the "notebook" blogs. While there are a few things I'd like to add to them; considering the fact that the point of the "notebook" blogs is not to worry about formt, there's really no reason for my not just posting them.
After just looking at them, however, I just can't make myself post them because I'm apparently not over being sick of them any more today than I was yesterday or the days before. I think I need to re-think either original time-frame aims or my settings - or something.
Of course even thinking about moving a few things from one back-burner to another (or something lilke that) is, in itself, not the most motivating or satisfying thing to do. With offline material/projects to work on, stuff that was once online and now isn't (and needs to be reassessed), and some stuff that I'll eventually put online in spite of a general "phasing away" from most of it; and with my still using the online stuff as "get-away stuff", it can be tricky to keep balance between what's "take-a-break" stuff and what's not all that much of a break.
There's only so many "limbo blogs/pages" I can feel comfortable leaving online (regardless of settings), and right now that number is way, way, too high. This is nothing new to anyone who does a mix of writing, but it's also tricky to find balance between actual writing, writing-related background stuff, and plain, old, forgetting about writing and do one thing or another with some of the "limbo" stuff.
The problem is (at least with the volumes of online stuff) I'm bothered by the half-baked element of pretty much all of it. A little bit of "half-baked" can be ignored, I suppose. I had that going on at one time. There were just a handful of things that were half-baked, and I'd either do a little something to add to them, or spiff them up, or else just not go to them at all.
With eleven years' worth of a whole lot of different water under a whole lot of different bridges (not to mention all kinds of high-speed evolution going on with technology, the Internet, writing sites, etc. etc.), I have to remind myself that a whole lot of the mess I have on my hands right now with this online-writing stuff is something I couldn't have prevented because I couldn't see where things would go any more than anyone else (or at least most people, I think).
One pretty much does not do any kind of online-writing in a vacuum. Of course, if one could put stuff on settings (like "super-private") and/or if one kept things to a couple of pages or sites (which I suppose all kinds of people not only could but have) then a few half-baked and/or "super-private" pages/blogs (or
whatever) wouldn't eat away at them and make them feel as if it there was some big emergency to clean up or clear out anything that didn't meet one's own standards.
As part of my wheel-spinning over this stuff I remind myself to remind myself that I'm from the pre-Internet generation. Everyone's re-thinking all kinds of things about how things are done, quality, etc. etc. Sometimes I think of some of the stuff that has been, or still is, or is getting to be out there more and more on the Internet; I think (essentially), "Hey, my cr*p is no worse than some of the other cr*p that's out there".
Of course, everyone has his own idea of "cr*p", and I don't even care about the stuff (in that category) that's attached to other people's names. It's the stuff attached to my name that continues to eat away at me. I continue to go back and forth over the good that the Internet can do and be or offer and the stuff in that category I've mentioned. (I'd rather not keep throwing in the title of the category more than it
really needs or ought to be.)
I also go back and forth over my sometimes seemingly overwhelming urge to just delete all accounts, close everything down (which I most likely will do when I know the time is right, at least with most things I have online). It's just that the time is not yet right for a number of different reasons, not the least of which is eleven years' worth of effort is eleven years' worth of effort. Also, although it's a small percentage of stuff I've written, there's stuff I wrote with my children and any future grandchildren in mind; and, Internet accounts or no-Internet-accounts, I'd really rather not resort to any hat-boxes (even if I have a couple of "hat-box" blogs).
Oh well... This wheel-spinning pile of nothing ought to be enough to push down the "cheese sticks" (essentially) filler-post.
Note: In the interest of full disclosure, I actually did this post after midnight (Eastern time) on August 9, but at least wanted a sort-of-clean-ish start once the daylight hours of the 9th make what is "tonight" for me what will become "tomorrow" when I start the day anew.
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