As I continue to work on things away from this blog (which is a collection of Free-Time/Casual Online Writing, Remarks, And Notes By ME Whelan) and continue to figure out what goes and what stays of my existing online-writing, the de-emphasizing of one or another continues as well....

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Caring About What Others Think About Us - Sometimes We Shouldn't But Sometimes We Need To

Most of us are well aware that they we shouldn’t be spending a lot of time worrying about what others think of us. Most of the time what others think of us doesn’t matter very much. There are times, however, when what others think can cause some serious problems for us (and if not serious problems, then at least the potential of serious problems).

I don't care what people think about me as long as they 1) don't treat me according to what they think about me and/or 2) think about me based on what is real about me, rather than think what they think (and judge as they judge) what they either imagine about me, wish was real about me or need to believe about me.

One reason I care about those "angles" is that if someone believes someone else is, for example, a “monster” or else stupid that person will treat the other accordingly (which means that the person being treated inappropriately is essentially the target of emotional abuse). There is a price for living with emotional abuse, and the person who pays that price shouldn’t have to pay a price for someone else’s ignorance and/or aggression.

The other reason I care about what people as far as those “angles” go is that even if they don’t then act on what they think while in your presence there’s always the chance they’ll share what they think with others, which can amount to serious damage to a person’s reputation. And, while one’s reputation may not always matter in a whole lot of circumstances, or with regard to some things; it can matter very much under some other circumstances and with regard to some other things.

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