When there's un-even-ness of spending and money between family members or friends sometimes the one who has the least money really wouldn't choose to have the one who has more doing the spending. Sometimes the one with less thinks, "OK. We'll go with this for now, and one day I'll do the spending/paying and make it up to him." Then time keeps going on, and that person never gets the chance to pay the other one back. My point is that sometimes a person can feel like he has been used when that was not the intention of the one he thinks "used" him.
Life keeps going along whether we can afford whatever expenses we’re faced with or not. Sometimes, too, a two people will want to spend some time together, doing something nice; and the only way they can do it is for one of them to foot the bill.
In any case, sometimes the last thing someone who could be seen as “a user” would want would EVER be to use a family member or friend. Often, neither party started out knowing the set of events that would take place and result in what turned out to be a one-sided situation.
My point here is NOT that is no such thing as people who intentionally use others. There are. That’s for sure – and there are a lot of them in this world. What there may be more of in this world, though, may be those people who would never use someone else - or particularly never use the person who feels he has been used – but who may find themselves in a position of looking to someone else as if they’ve used him. The point here is mainly that I’d hope people would simply be aware that what may appear to be being used sometimes just isn’t that at all.
Photo: ME Whelan
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